Pursuing the Healthy Lifestyle

Summer
Our new guest contributor

It seems these days as if everyone wants to jump on the latest health kick trend...gluten free, "paleo," non-fair, Atkins, raw food...the trends are endless. But, sometimes it feels as though people are eating in the trendy way without thinking about why they are eating this way; they are forgetting the main reason they even started to look into a healthy lifestyle. That's where I come in. I'm Summer--the new guest contributor on The Accessorized Life. I like to eat clean and exercise, so I will be your go-to-gal for all things about health, fitness, and wellness. So, without further ado, let's discuss how to get healthy, and finding a plan to stick to!

We all have our own reasons for why we want to be healthier (losing a little weight, toning your body, or feeling better about yourself). And, eating healthy is always a key component in that equation. But, in the end there is not a one size fits all program when it comes to getting fit and feeling good. You have to listen to your body--you need to do what is right for you, and only you. It is also important to remember that this is a lifestyle change, not a quick fix. Know that you aren't going to lose those 10 (or more) pounds overnight, you will have slip ups (those chocolate chip cookies are sometimes just too good to pass up!), and you will have moments where you don't want to do this anymore. Remember, you can't change everything about your lifestyle in one day.

This change has to come from within as well--yes your family and friends may inspire you to get healthier, but unless you are truly ready to commit to a healthier lifestyle, your changes won't stick. Making changes to your lifestyle has to be for you, and you alone. How many of us know someone who has tried to quit smoking for their family or friends? Or someone who swears they are going to lose weight because their significant other asked them to? They never truly quit, or lose the weight, or get healthy until they actually want to do it for themselves.

The first step is to identify your goal, and why you want to meet that goal. Next? Find ways to work towards that goal. Make a plan that works for you, one that is realistic and that you can actually stick to.

If your goal is to start eating healthier, take it one step at a time. First track what you are eating for a week (be honest--even down to that one little piece of candy you grabbed from the receptionist's desk or the mint at the diner that you ate). Then, look at what is good and bad about your diet. Do you eat a lot in the evening but not enough early on in the day? Are you getting too hungry in between means, resulting in overeating? Are you eating mostly junk food? Did you finally realize that you re eating way more of the unhealthy stuff than the good stuff? Figure out where your diet can be tweaked then look at ways to slowly move out some of the bad items and replace them with better choices. So, instead of cookies for a snack, opt for fruit--even if it's only once a week, or if you allow yourself one small cheat snack a day (for example one cookie after dinner instead of half of the package). Remember to take small steps--don't try to change everything in one day. If you make these small changes, you will be able to stock with it longer. Most people try to do some big dramatic change to how they eat--this leaves them feeling unsatisfied, empty, and mostly hungry. In the end, they end up eating more bad stuff as they crave it and just go on overload. Remember, eating healthy doesn't mean you have to cut out all of the bad stuff like cake, cookies, candy, and ice cream (especially because the bad stuff just tastes so good!). It just means having them in moderation--you know, once a week or at a special occasion, not three times a day.

If your goal is to be more active, then get out there and start moving. Don't expect to run a marathon on your first day out--or even walk a mile (although you may surprise yourself!). Start simply--park in the back of the parking lot and enjoy that walk to your office, the mall, a doctor's appointment...wherever you're going. You can start by taking a walk every other day--go out for 15 or 20 minutes and just walk. If you can power walk, power walk. If not, just stroll. Any activity is good activity. (But, don't use a 20 minute walk as an excuse to eat badly!) Bottom line? Get yourself moving. As you start to exercise more frequently, you'll find you can do more--build yourself up to more walking, then jogging, and then even (gasp!) running. If walking and running aren't your thing, try taking a class such as yoga, barre, Zumba, or spin class. Even if you are the slowest one in there, even if you need to take breaks, even if you can't keep up with the moves and find yourself laughing far more than you do following along, that's okay (laughing burns calories, too!)--as long as you are off the couch, away from the snacks, and getting your heart rate up, you're doing good things for your body. Have a gym membership that is doing little more than gathering dust? Don't be like chandler from Friends (no, you don't want to quit the gym!). Just make some small lifestyle changes that will make going to the gym easier and more productive. Try bringing your workout clothes with you to work, then go straight to the gym. Everyone gets tired after a long day of work and it's easy to make up excuses not to take that walk or go to the gym. So try to just go right after work. If after work doesn't work for you, set your alarm for an hour earlier, go to the gym before work, shower, and get ready for work at the gym, and then go to work. That way it is done and out of the way and you can enjoy the rest of your day. You'll find that if you go, you'll feel better about yourself, you'll have more energy, and you'll just feel good! Don't beat yourself up if you miss a day (or even two), just don't make missing a habit, or you'll quickly find yourself back to being a couch potato wit lofty dreams and goals and an expanding waist size or growing flab.

Being healthy needs to become a way of life. If you incorporate it all (healthy eating and exercise) and make it a priority, it soon just becomes a part of who you are and doesn't feel like a chore. Before you know it, you'll be automatically making the healthy choices--and enjoying it while you do. If you need someone to keep you motivated and honest, enlist a friend, or two, to accompany you on this journey. Find a gym buddy who will motivate you to show up or push you to the next level. Find a friend or two that you can text your workout details to--someone who will be truly excited for you to embark on this journey and who will celebrate your successes, and make suggestions on how to get healthier (after all, that's what Lauren, Stacy, and I do for each other!). Text your friend pictures of yourself periodically so you can celebrate your successes together. If social media is your thing, post to Twitter, post to Facebook, post photos of yourself pre- and post-workout to Instagram. Whatever works to keep you on track, find it and stick to it!

Now...get off the couch, get healthy, and get moving!

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email us at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com

Hello, Instagram!

We are just dropping a little note to let you all know that we are now on Instagram! We are super excited about it, and we hope you are, too! It's a fun way to share quick little finds, purchases, quotes, and other fun stuff with you guys--especially when we don't have the time to sit down and write a post. We're all about the more the merrier, so if you have an Instagram account, be sure to follow us at @theaccessorizedlife for great fashion finds, beauty tips, and other fun stuff! (Share us with your friends, too!)

See you there!

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email us at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com

You Are Not Alone

"You Are Not Alone." That is the theme of this year's National Infertility Awareness Week. Those words...those four little words. They are SO very important. You. Are. Not. Alone. For a long while now, I've been toying with the idea of writing this post. Infertility...it's such a lonely, difficult road to travel. Sadly, most people don't discuss their experiences, so those who live through it typically feel like they are battling it alone. How do I know this? I was there. And, it's time for me to share my story in the hopes that other people who are going through this painful journey feel a little less alone.

I'm not going to run through every detail of my journey. There's no need to rip off those scabs or to open old wounds. But, I will tell you the short version...it took three years. Three long years. Three long, painful years. When my husband and I started trying, I expected to get pregnant quickly. When I still wasn't pregnant after 6 months, I started to worry. When I still wasn't pregnant after a year, I started to get downright crazy. When I went to a fertility doctor, who told me that he didn't know why my husband and I couldn't conceive (and, by the way, we still don't know), I was frustrated, angry, and very sad. When, month after month, I had failed IUIs, I questioned myself...I questioned my body. I hated my body--it was betraying me. I wondered why I was "broken" and what was wrong with me. I expected that IVF would be our solution--and I expected it to work on the first shot. So, when my first IVF failed, I was an absolute mess.

I'm one of the lucky ones. There was a light at the end of my story, a happy ending for me. I remember being in the doctor's office for my second IVF transfer. My amazing doctor looked at me and said, "I give this a 100% chance of working." I asked him for that in writing (with a smile on my face, of course), and he playfully refused. But, I held onto that hope. As I felt my body changing in the first two weeks after the transfer, I attributed it to the shots I was giving myself. I refused to give into the possibility that it worked this time because I was shielding myself from the pain I knew could, very realistically, be coming my way. I remember the day that I was getting my results. I refused to check my phone all day. When the end of the school day came, I locked my classroom door and checked my messages. I heard these four magical words: "Congratulations! You are pregnant." I didn't even listen to the rest of the message. I literally collapsed to the floor in tears. I called my husband and told him that we were having a baby, and he cried as well. I am not a cryer--at least not at things like this. I still tear up when I remember that moment, and yes, I do still have that message saved on my phone.

I will tell you this. If you let it, infertility will destroy you. As I was going through this pain, I had friend after friend around me get pregnant. At first, as each of these friends announced their news, I would pull away from them and start to distance myself. Then, one of my closest friends at work announced her pregnancy. I felt myself pulling away. But, I knew that I loved her, and that I didn't want to ruin our friendship. So, I sucked up my pain, pushed it aside, and made every effort to be happy for her and be her friend. (I'm happy to tell you that she and I are still very close friends.) As I was going through the first year of infertility, I was outright mean to my husband. I mean, MEAN. I was snappy, nasty, and always on the edge. One day I made a conscious decision--I could either live my life and enjoy it, or I could wallow in misery and let it destroy me. I chose to live, and enjoy life. That didn't mean that I didn't feel the pain. It just meant that I would feel it, acknowledge it, cry if I needed to, and let it go.

Another word of advice...avoid social media when you can. It's heartbreaking to see people posting their pregnancies on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I can still vividly remember the day when five of my "friends," in one day, announced their pregnancies via Facebook. I walked into my husband's home office and melted into a puddle of tears. I still tear up when I think about it. In fact, it affected me so much that I never announced my pregnancy on social media. I never wanted to be that person who hurt someone else going through their own infertility journey.

I'll tell you, this is a pain that never goes away. Despite having successfully made it to the other end of this very rocky road, my heart still breaks every time I hear someone announce they are pregnant. It still stings when people talk about how they "just got pregnant by accident," or "we weren't even trying!" It kills me when I see people who are so unfit for parenthood popping out child after child, only to abuse, neglect, or otherwise harm that child. People who criticize IVF or other scientific methods for reaching parenthood still bring tears to my eyes. When I heard about the comments Dolce & Gabbana made about IVF babies being "synthetic babies," it took all of my willpower not to weep all over myself on my drive to work. How could anyone call my two beautiful, spunky, funny, smart, curious, loving little miracles "synthetic?" Shame on them. Shame on anyone who would make someone battling their own fertility--their own body--feel less than complete.

I look back, and, as crazy as this sounds, in some ways, I'm glad for this journey. For one thing, it forced me to draw on reserves of strength that I had no idea even existed. For another, it gave my husband and me a few years to travel the world before we had kids. Lastly, my husband and I have gone through hell and back together...there's nothing that can tear a marriage apart, or in our case, make it strong as steel as infertility can. For these things I am thankful. For my beautiful babies, I am thankful. And, I am thankful that I lived this, because now I am able to share my story, and, hopefully, bring some comfort to future moms-and-dads-to-be taking their first lonely, scary steps on this road.

If you want to talk, or just need someone to listen, reach out to me at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com. I'll get back to you, personally, as soon as I possibly can. If you have a friend or family member who is facing infertility, this helpful list gives you some great ways to offer your support.

To learn more, please visit these links:
What is Infertilty?
National Infertility Awareness Week

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email us at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com

Our Top Picks for Spring

Spring has sprung! After a long, cold Northeastern winter, Lauren and Stacy couldn't be happier. Of course, the warm weather means coming out of months of hibernation and exercising our muscles...and wallets. All of the new buds on the trees reminds us that we should add some new buds to our wardrobes as well!

This season's picks are the perfect mix of transition pieces from winter to spring and from spring to summer--guaranteed to brighten your wardrobe and your mood! But, it seems as if this long winter has got the two of us all mixed up...you'll see lots of stripes in Lauren's picks, yet none in Stacy's (who is the self proclaimed queen of stripes!) and lots of accessories in Stacy's picks, yet a surprising dearth of accessories in Lauren's! I guess that's what happens after 30+ years...best friends do tend to rub off on one another.

So, check out our picks below. At prices under $25, $50, & $75, these little spring pick-me-ups will be certain to brighten your day, and wardrobe, without breaking the bank! Remember, if you click on the "Polaroid," it will take you directly to the website for the item.

Happy spring & happy shopping!

UNDER $25:

1) It should come as no surprise that I love a statement necklace! I also love coral. (A little secret...that is one of the colors for my summer wedding! Shhh!) Personally, I'm a huge fan of finding a less expensive statement necklace that is seasonal, fresh, and can update any outfit in my closet. So, I was pleased as punch to find this beauty from Francesca's Collection for $14.99. Can you say steal?

2) Hello spring... If you are from the Northeast like us you have been plagued with a long, long, long, snowy winter. Now that the weather is finally turning warm, it's time your legs got out there and said hello to the world again! These shorts are perfect for running errands as temperatures start to creep up the thermometer. They would also be wonderful for a day out on the town with your gals or that date night in the warmer weather! Just add some cute wedges or strappy sandals and you are ready to go! These are only $20 at Old Navy...but, you can find some other colors of the same shorts for as cheap as $12.99! I just prefer the olive...you know that pieces in my closet need to be versatile!

UNDER $50:

3) Helllooooooo fuschia! (Insert sexy growl here.) These sandals from Old Navy instantly caught my attention. The style is so versatile--it's a strappy wedge. Where can you go wrong with that? Plus, the heel height would be perfect for running around all day--even right into a date night! The price, at $26.94, is fantastic, so you won't feel a twinge of guilt adding them to your shoe collection!

4) Aqua? My second favorite color. And, here's another secret...it's the second accent color for my wedding. This top...swoon. I love it! When I saw this top from New York & Company, I knew it had to be on my list. The fact that it's only $34.95 sealed the deal! It's a great pop of color to an otherwise neutral outfit, and it's the kind of shade that is beautiful for any skin tone, any complexion. There is also a softness to the fabric, which will be lovely for those warmer days! Wear this under a jacket (like the one below) or sweater on the cooler spring days, or on it's own when the weather is warmer.

5) We all know that spring weather can be fickle--one day it's in the 70s, next it's in the 50s. This blazer from Target is the perfect piece to solve this problem! It's stylish and keeps you perfectly warm during the cooler days and nights. I'm loving this light gray--it's a perfect spring color that will compliment any outfit you're wearing! It's also the kind of jacket that's perfect with jeans and ballet flats for the weekend, and with a dress or pants for work. I love that it's tailored but edgy! At $34.99, you will enjoy it too!

6) Whenever I see a flower print, I am immediately reminded of these shorts I had when I was a teenager. I loved those shorts. I have a distinct memory of wearing those shorts the first day I ever went to summer camp. I spent many years at that camp and it's still one of my favorite places on Earth! That camp, and this flower print, make me think of one of my best friends, who I miss dearly. Any print that can invoke that much memory and love belongs in my closet. Oh...and it's a pencil skirt. Yes. Please. Find this beauty at New York and Company--it's only $46.95!

7) I own these red pants, and they are AMAZING! Whenever I wear them, I get so many compliments. The first time I tried them on at White House Black Market, they fit my body perfectly, hugged in all the right places, and the Man loved them! These pants are bright, so you won't be able to fade into the background in them, but you won't need to. You will feel so sassy whenever you wear them--and who doesn't need to feel a little sassy every now and then? These beauties are only $39.99.

UNDER $75:

8) I love jeans for weekends. Who doesn't? This pair from New York & Company will carry you perfectly from spring into summer. The color is light and bright--very springy! While dark jeans are always classic, the light jeans are better for the warmer weather. At $64.95, this pair will be your new wardrobe staple for morning errands or for picnics in the gorgeous weather!

9) I love stripes. (Like we said above...Stacy and I must be rubbing off on each other!) This lightweight spring top is perfect for this time of year. The button details down the back are so lovely! This top is perfect for work (throw a blazer over it if you need to be more conservative), date night, girls' night, or just a fun weekend road trip. When I saw this at The Loft for $59.50,  I thought it would be perfect for me--I like clothes that I can get lots of use out of. No wasted money here! This piece is one I can certainly see myself getting a lot of use out of.

10) I mentioned I love stripes, right?!?! I have lots of striped shirts and a few striped dresses, so I'm super excited to add this one to my collection! It's not your plain old striped dress. I love that this one has the stripes running in two different directions on the top and skirt of the dress--it definitely sets the dress apart from the pack! This dress is just calling my name. I can see it being the perfect wardrobe addition for so many outings and for work! All I need to do is adjust my shoes and accessories and this dress will transition perfectly from day to night. I can even throw a blazer or sweater over it and wear it on chilly days or pair it with tights and wear it into the fall. Find this awesome piece at The Loft for $69.50. 

UNDER $25:

1) To me, espadrilles are the quintessential warm weather shoe. They are adorable, lightweight, and perfect for pants, jeans, skirts, or shorts. (As long as you are going for the casual look, of course!) Oh, and did I mention comfy? That might be the biggest selling point! I love this modern take on this classic shoe from the J.Crew Outlet. This espadrille is a chambray espadrille--the hottest fabric going over the past few years! At just $22.50, you can add this great spring addition to your wardrobe without busting your budget!

2) Lace is really in right now (which I said in our Top 10 for summer post!), and I'm all about the lace trend. I love any material that can be feminine and/or edgy at the same time. Plus, clothing with special detail? A total winner in my book. I particularly love this little top from H&M. Why do I love it? It's got the perfect amount of lace--just a little inset to give the top some intrigue--and it's a great layering piece, which is perfect for spring weather. You can put this beauty on under a blazer for work, under a cardigan for play, or, wear it by itself if you're going out on the town. You can find this steal for just $24.95!

3) This bangle might be my new favorite jewelry piece (except for maybe the bangle duo below...). I love the crystal detail, I love the chevron pattern (who doesn't love a classic pattern redone in a new and interesting way?), I love that it looks like two bracelets (instant arm stack!), and I love that it's only $14.50. Yeah, you read that right! I found this awesome piece at the J.Crew Outlet and knew immediately that it had to be mine. This is a perfect year round piece--there are no jewels that are brightly colored to signify a spring/summer accessory (or dark colors for winter/fall), and it's as perfect with a spring dress as it is with a warm winter sweater (which, personally, I am SO thankful to be done with!). Totally worth every (affordable) penny!

UNDER $50:

4) I love me some heels. (We all know that!) But, to me, nude pumps are made for the spring. This peep-toe version is a classic made better. It is perfect for this time of year--open enough to show off your (finally) pedicured toes, but not so open that your feet will freeze in the typical 60 degree weather. (At least that's our typical spring weather in the Northeast!) I found these beauties at Famous Footwear...for only $29.99!!!

5) I bought this chambray shirt from the Gap a few weeks ago. It was a total step out of my comfort zone for me, but from the moment I saw it, all I could picture was myself wearing it with a white t-shirt underneath and my brightly colored (coral! Hmmm...I guess Lauren's influence really is rubbing off on me!) skinny jeans. I picked it up for $42 and never looked back. The first time I wore it (it was to work, so instead of coral jeans, I paired it with red skinny pants...no not the same ones Lauren featured in her top 10, but, again...no surprise we are on the same wavelength!) I got tons of compliments. I am so excited about this wardrobe staple that will surely grace my closet for years to come!

6) Ok, so I am OBSESSED with the Sloan skinny pants from Banana Republic. (And, I'm not just talking a mild obsession here...I have, I think, 13 pairs. Seriously...orange, red, dark green, light tan, regular tan, camel, black, grey, purple, chambray blue color, light blue, royal blue, navy blue...I don't think I missed any colors! Did I mention I'm obsessed?) These are the most flattering pants in the world, and also the most comfortable. I am not kidding when I say that I wear these pants 9 out of every 10 work days. (No, seriously not kidding.) So, when I saw this adorable crop version with zipper pockets and zippers at the leg opening, I loved them. When I saw that they were only $49.50, I knew I had to have them! Cropped pants are the perfect spring pant--long enough to keep you warm when chilly, short enough to keep you cool when warm. These would be great with ballet flats, loafers, or heels! Depending on your top and accessories, you could wear them to work, on a date, or for going out with friends. Totally versatile...and totally worth every penny!

7) Since this bangle set first showed up on BaubleBar, I have been eyeing it. I kept telling myself I didn't need it, though, and then it disappeared off the site and I was super sad. Then...like magic...it came back! Of course I knew it was fate and felt that I had to add it to my collection. I love that at first glance, it just looks like two simple gold bangles with a little etching detail. At closer inspection, you see that it's the phases of the moon on one bangle and stars on the other. Totally magical, right? It reminds me that the days are longer and the nights warmer in the spring--perfect for stargazing. Plus, I like that it's sophisticated, yet still whimsical. This set is incredibly versatile--wear them together as a set, or separate them and either pair them with other bracelets to create some arm candy, or wear one alone when going for simple accessories. And, at $38 for two bangles, how could you go wrong? 

UNDER $75:

8) I love a good fit and flare dress. It's flattering on every body shape--slims your waist, instant curves--what more could a girl want? I especially love this one. It has eyelet detail (like I said with the lace shirt, I love clothing items that have special detail!) that gives it "stripes" without having actual stripes. (See, I did sneak some stripes in this season's top 10!) I also love that this dress is 3/4 sleeves, which is perfect for fall. It will keep you warm enough on the chilly days, but like the cropped pants, also keep you cool as the weather heats up. This dress would also look adorable under a blazer for work or play! This dress from the Gap comes in black (shown here, which I prefer) or white, and is only $55.99.

9) Ok, so funny that Lauren mentioned how floral patterns bring her back to this one pair of shorts she had when she was a teenager. That is exactly what I thought when I first laid eyes on this dress. Bold floral patterns like this one bring me back to my early teen years as well (particularly one black skirt with big orangey-red flowers that I loved--I remember wearing it with tall black boots and feeling so very sophisticated!). The fashion of the early '90s prominently featured bold floral patterns. This is a style that keeps coming back time and again--and each time I love it. It's so feminine and beautiful! I also love the cut and drape of this dress--it reminds me of something you'd have seen in the 1950s, very classic and very classy. This dress from ModCloth is great for the spring and will easily transition to the summer. Everything about it screams warm weather--the pattern, the color, the weight of the material, the cut of the dress--perfect for a night out with the girls, a bridal shower (spring is totally the season for those!), a date night, or, even work. At $54.99, it will make a great addition to my wardrobe!

10) Ok...I know the old "fashion rule" says no white before Memorial Day. I say to hell with that. Wear white year round if you want to! But, I especially think that once the weather is warm, it's just fine to wear white. I love everything about this white linen blazer from the J.Crew Outlet. Linen is a perfect transitional fabric, plus it's timeless. This blazer would be great with a pair of dress pants for the cooler days, or over a dress for the warmer days (like the dress above!). A good, tailored, well-made blazer is a must for every girl's wardrobe. At $74, this piece is sure to become a wardrobe go-to, and a staple in your wardrobe for many years to come. 

We hope you enjoy our spring finds. Now...go shop (and then go outside and get some fresh air!)!

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email us at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com

Where I've Been

I know we've been a little lax in posting on the blog. Partly it's my fault. I became a little self involved in my life. For those who actually know me, that has never happened before. Well, I'm ready to share with the world why....

Most of my friends already know this story, but for those who don't know me and follow this blog (the one of you...) here is where I've been for the last year.

For the entirety of my adult life, I was the quintessential single gal. I watched as my friends found their loves, married, had children, and moved on. I participated happily in those life events, always wondering if that would ever happen for me. I hated feeling like I was missing something, but I also wasn't willing to settle.  I also wasn't truly happy with my life. We, as humans, rarely say that out loud. To say you're unhappy is unheard of. If you do, someone can look at you and say, "You are unhappy? For what reason? You are young, healthy, have a good job."  Also, to admit to unhappiness, is almost like admitting to defeat. However, I have never been one of those people to just idly sit by, so I realized that if I was unhappy, I'm the only person who has the power to make myself happy.  So I saw a counselor, I worked a lot on myself, and made the decision that maybe I just wasn't meant to find anyone, that my life was going to be the way it was--fulfilled with friends and family, but missing a piece.

I told my friends this and they pish poshed what I said; they were confident I was meant to be with someone. I was not so easily convinced. I guess I also didn't want to get my hopes up, so I made some sarcastic joke and changed the subject. Yes, I am the queen of sarcasm, and, yes, I know it was a defense mechanism.

Then I lost my grandmother. Her death caught me off guard; it was pretty sudden. She had always been so strong, vibrant, the matriarch of my family, and although we didn't always see eye to eye, I loved her fiercely. She wanted nothing more for me than to find the person I was supposed to marry and start a family. When she passed, I felt lost again and I couldn't figure out why.  Fast forward to four months after she passed to me hysterically crying to one of my best friends and saying the words that I couldn't say, but what had been a dark hole in my heart since she passed... "that she would never see me marry." As soon as I said that out loud, a weight lifted off my shoulders. I also made the decision at that moment, that I had to stop moping around--she would not want that. I realized I had to be open again, stop saying no, and shutting myself off. Over the next few months I worked on letting my grief go. At a girls' night In that I hosted, my friends convinced me to go back on match.com and be proactive in finding someone.

After Valentine's Day, 2014, I made the decision to really dive into emailing some guys on the site, and see what came of it. This time, I tried to stay positive. I was emailing with one guy, when I read the profile of another. This other guy came up in a search I did and I clicked on him because his user name was "devildog" something. I thought that meant he was a Devils fan...I was wrong.  I started looking at his profile and his stats that are at the top of his profile, (if you've ever been on an internet dating site, you know that up top they put a person's stats: age, height, body type, religion, etc.) were not things I normally go for.... but something told me to keep reading.  So I did. What I found was someone funny, cute and I was hooked. I sat down and typed, and then retyped, an email to him. It took me a little while to get it right; I was trying so hard to be engaging and funny so that he would want to write me back. With a deep breath I hit send and went on with my day. Honestly, outside of a few random guys over the years, internet dating did not yield a lot of success for me.

Two hours later, he wrote back. Over the next few hours, we wrote email after email to each other, switched to gchat, then by the end of the day, we had a date planned for later in the week!!! We spent the next few days talking over email and gchat and eventually texting. It was a wonderful first date, not that it was spectacularly unique, rather, we spent 5 hours talking and laughing. By the end of the night, we had another date lined up for the next night. I was smitten.

Our relationship started fast, we spent most of our time together over the next six weeks. My plans revolved around his, I became that girl. I knew it was happening, but honestly, I just didn't care.

Was it love at first sight? No. It was definitely like at first sight, and love didn't take that long to appear. He and I grew as a couple; we spent all our time together and that missing puzzle piece of my life had finally been found. (I know, so cliched...)

Ten months later, he asked me to marry him, in the most perfect of ways. It was a private perfect moment between he and I and then we were able to immediately celebrate with my parents and friends, and then with his family and friends two days later. (We went to his home state for Christmas)

We will be married this summer, and of course, Stacy will be my Matron of Honor. I'm toying with the idea of posting some of the planning I'm doing on the blog, but don't want to force my wedding on our limited readership.

I can't wait for all the new adventures to come. I know that it won't always be perfect, and that I can't predict what will happen, but I also know that I have found the person I am supposed to be with. I know my grandmother would have loved him, and that makes me sad and happy all rolled into one.

So...yeah, that's where I've been, up in the air, near the clouds...happy as can be.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email us at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com

Motherhood...The Loneliest Job There Is

I'm going to preface this by saying that I love my kids and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I even really enjoy being a mom, most of the time (come on...we all have our moments, moms!), and I think being a mom has made me a better person. But there is one thing that no one will tell you...being a mom is the loneliest job in the world.

I think that my generation of moms is very different than our parents' generation--first and foremost, in general, we had kids later than our parents. That means that we lived our own lives, and created our own identities that are not wrapped up in our children. So, while our children might be the center of our worlds, they are not our entire worlds. I think that this is one of the reasons that the transition to motherhood is even harder for us--all of a sudden, we go from individuals with full lives--friends, jobs, activities (like the gym, yoga, book clubs, manicures, pedicures, knitting clubs, wine tastings...whatever you're into)--to lives that are very singularly focused--what time do I need to feed my child? Why is he/she crying? Does he/she need a diaper change? Is he/she hitting all of his/her milestones?--the list could go on and on forever. You find that you have very little time to do the things you love anymore. I used to read, on average, a book a week--even during the school year. Now, I'm lucky if I read a book every four months, and can only really read in the summer...if both of my kids take naps at the same time and actually nap for the full amount of time they're supposed to.

I used to have time to actually talk to the people who matter to me, but now, getting together with family or friends means that everyone is focused on the kids. Trying to have an adult conversation is like trying to listen to a radio station that is just out of range...you will only hear snippets of what you're supposed to. I have friends with kids, and we do play dates. In theory, it's great...adult interaction with a side of kids. In reality its kids with a very small side of adult interaction. For the great majority of my friends, I can't remember the last time I had a real conversation with them. Thank goodness for email and text because, otherwise, I'd have no friends left. Most of my phone conversations are done when I'm driving home from work, and most of the time it's only Lauren that I talk to...besides the fact that she's my best friend (which is the main reason I call her almost every day), she's the only other person I know who is willing and available to talk at 3:30 p.m.

My husband travels a lot for work...I'm talking 200+ days a year a lot. That means most days I basically feel like a single mom. I have a great support network--a nanny who loves my kids and who they love, parents who live in the same town and who come over daily to give whatever help they can, a mother in law who also lives in the same town and stops by to help whenever she can, friends who pick up the slack when needed (like Lauren, who is a goddess, who volunteered to watch my kids one day because no one else was able to and so I didn't have to take a multitude of days off of work). But, at the end of the day, all of the responsibility, all of the decision making, all of the day-to-day stuff falls on me. I am trying to juggle a career that I love (and yes, it is my choice to work, but see point number one...parents of my age group had their own lives before having kids, and I am fully aware that I am not stay at home mom material), my children, my husband, my family, my friends, my house, and my needs. At the end of the day, something always loses. Usually, that's me.

It's not like I can have a "girls' night out" or even a date night with my husband--usually he's traveling and so I'm always on mommy duty. I don't feel right asking for someone to watch my kids so I can go out and have a good time--especially if my husband isn't home because during that time the people I would ask to help are already pitching in with bedtime and bath and anything else I need. Even when my husband is home, most days of the week I'm too exhausted to even move, let alone meet a friend for dinner or drinks, or to even have a friend come over after bedtime if he isn't. In fact, most nights I'm so exhausted that I actually end up staying later than I intended because I'm too tired to get off the couch and go upstairs to bed (tonight...case in point). Even if I wasn't exhausted, my job demands almost as much of me as my kids do. At least 5 nights a week, as soon as the kids go to bed, the laptop and textbooks come out, and I am doing work right up until I go to bed. Honestly, I feel who I am slipping away. I don't have the time to do the things I love anymore, and I feel like I barely have any adult interaction, other than during my work day. I see my mother every day, and I truly couldn't tell you the last time we had a conversation about anything other than the kids. It's sad--I fear that my relationship with her is slipping away because we don't have time to keep it up.

And so, even though I'm always busy, and always surrounded by people, I'm really quite alone. Now, don't get me wrong, I relish my quiet time when the kids are napping or after they've gone to bed and I can do the things I enjoy (like read or knit) if I'm not working. But, in reality, I typically use that time to  stay on top of all of my responsibilities. I just feel very lonely. I have to imagine that it's not just me, and that a lot of moms feel like they have a very lonely job--a job that leaves them with little time to do the things that made them them before they had children. I just don't think many people talk about it...maybe if we did, we wouldn't feel so lonely.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email us at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com

The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm about two months late. But, I've been wanting to do this post for a while. However, I went back to work, and life got in the way.

But, the cause of raising money for ALS is one that is near and dear to my heart. I'll be honest. At first, I was skeptical about the ice bucket challenge. I was one of those naysayers who said "Why dump ice over your head? Wouldn't it do much more good if everyone just donated a dollar instead of dumping ice on their heads?" Then I read the statistics. I saw how much money was donated to als.org, and how much attention the disease was getting. This is a disease that flies under the radar. It's not profitable for drug companies. (Just like this guy, here, said. If you haven't seen his video, watch it.)

The fact is, ALS has hit my family hard. One of my mother's first cousins was stricken with the disease and passed away in 1998. Then, another of my mother's first cousins (who is like an aunt to me) was diagnosed a few years ago. Luckily, the treatments have progressed since then, and her disease is moving very slowly. But, there is still no cure.

So, as a family, in August, we did a group ice bucket challenge. (Lauren joined us!)

Lauren and me before the challenge!

The ice water for Lauren & me...ready to go!

So, even though this was two months ago, and I'm just getting around to posting it, I'm hoping that this will continue to help awareness of the disease to grow, and maybe, just maybe, it will keep the fundraising from falling into oblivion. Here's hoping they find a cure.

Enjoy the video of us taking the challenge...and, yes. I am the one in the shower cap!

Love,

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email us at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com

Our Top 10 Picks for Fall

Well, it's official. Fall is here! The leaves are turning colors and falling off the trees, the nights are cold, the days are chilly, and everything pumpkin (much to Lauren's chagrin) is out on the shelves. So, with that in mind, our thoughts, of course, turn to shopping. It's time to bolster our wardrobes with some great fall finds!

We've scoured the internet to find the best deals for the best items to kick your fall wardrobe up a notch. Each of us compiled a top 10 list with items under $25, $50, and $75. Many of our items can be transitioned from season to season--as you know, the best pieces are the ones that do double, triple, and even quadruple duty! (It's not a bargain if you can only wear it once or once in a while, right?)

Without further ado, here are our picks...we hope you enjoy them as much as we do! Remember, if you click on the "Polaroids," it will take you directly to the item.

Happy shopping!

UNDER $25:

1) I have discovered the best t-shirts in the world. Yes, I'm serious. Gap has a line of t-shirts called "super soft" (their Bowery collection). My mom bought me one last year, and since then I've been stocking up like it's my job. Well, this is the newest addition to my collection. As you all know, I'm a stripes girl (seriously...survey my closet. I'd say, at minimum, 1/2 of my shirts are striped!), and I tend to lean towards the striped varieties of the Bowery collection tees. This one, in particular, caught my attention because, although it's another striped tee to add to my wardrobe, it's unique in that it's a boatneck tee. With a boatneck, you can dress it up with a pair of nice khakis or dress pants, or dress it down with jeans or leggings. It's totally versatile! It comes in navy (my particular favorite) or red...and at $24.95, you can afford to get both!


2) As you know, Lauren and I are both knitters. But, our lives are busy, and sometimes we just don't have time to knit ourselves (or each other) a cowl! Just because we don't have time to knit ourselves a cowl doesn't mean that we don't want new ones to add to our ever expanding scarf collections. So, we try to look for ones that are cozy, classic, and a steal. (That way we won't feel so guilty about buying ones when we can make them!) This infinity cowl from Old Navy totally fits the bill. It's $10...seriously, we could spend that amount just on the yarn it would take us to make our own cowls...not to mention the time and effort! I prefer the grey, but it comes in other colors as well. Grab this steal before it sells out!



3) To me, nothing says fall more than a cardigan. It's the perfect transition piece from warm weather to the chill in the air that fall brings. Cardigans are easy to throw over a t-shirt with a pair of jeans, or over a blouse with a pair of dress pants. I especially love long, flowy, open cardigans. They are not only comfortable, but totally versatile. This cardigan from H&M is only $19.95, and bonus...it's striped! (It does also come in solid colors for those of you who haven't hopped on the stripe bandwagon.)




4) I love jewelry. I love sparkly jewelry. I love sparkly jewelry that is versatile--I can stack it, I can wear it solo, I can wear it to work, I can wear it on the weekend, I can wear it to a fancy affair. I love sparkly, versatile jewelry that is affordable. That's why I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw this gorgeous bangle from Banana Republic. It's just $24.50 in silver ($29.50 if you go for the gold), and I love that it's simple and elegant all at the same time. It has just the right amount of sparkle so it's not gaudy or obnoxious, but it makes you feel pretty! Seriously...what more could a girl want?




UNDER $50:

5) I saw these earrings on Baublebar (yes, I'm a Baublebar junkie...blame Lauren. She introduced me to the site) and instantly fell in love. I had to have them. So, of course, I bought them. When I tell you that I love them even more in person (which I didn't think was possible), that's an understatement. I love the gold flecks on the blue stones...and I love that they aren't symmetrical. I love that they are totally versatile--great with a sweater, a suit, a dress...for work, for play...and I love that they're colors that aren't typical for me when it comes to jewelry. The fact that they're only $28 made my decision to buy them super easy. I would have been a fool not to!



6) Last year, you may remember that I found a fabulous faux fur cowl at Restoration Hardware. (Check out the post here.) So, I decided to test my luck again this year and see if Restoration Hardware had anything interesting in faux fur. They did...lots of awesome stuff from pillows to throws to this gem...a faux fur laptop case. I love that it looks like an oversize clutch, as opposed to a utilitarian laptop case. I would actually use it as a clutch when I didn't need to bring my laptop with me somewhere! It comes in a variety of "furs," and is one of those pieces that I can see being a part of my wardrobe for a long time. It's only $29, which makes it worth every darn affordable penny!



7) This pendant is one that I think will be such a key piece of my wardrobe this fall. The sunburst design will keep me going as days get shorter by reminding me that summer will come back again soon! I love that the accent isn't a gem or jewel, but leather. That makes it edgy while still being feminine and classy. It would look amazing with a t-shirt and jeans, or as a layering piece with a long necklace as well. I can see this piece transitioning from season to season--especially with a cotton dress in summer or a cardigan and dress pants in winter. You can find this amazing piece at Piperlime for $48.




UNDER $75:

8) I think I've spoken of my love of elbow patches before. Maybe it's that I'm a teacher and to me, elbow patches scream academia. Maybe it's because they are slightly nerdy (like me) but slightly edgy as well (not so much like me). Maybe it's just that they're classic and classy. Or, maybe I just love them because I do. For whatever reason, I'm always drawn to them. These leather patches are vegan, which is kind of awesome, especially for you animal lovers out there, but they don't feel cheap or look cheap (yes, I own this one too!). The sweater is long, which I love, so I can wear it with leggings, but it's totally formal enough to be worn to work. I found this gem at Piperlime for $69.


9) Western boots are totally in this season. I found these beauties at Nordstrom. They are stylish, beautiful, well made, and most of all, affordable. One of my favorite fall looks is tall boots with leggings or skinny jeans! I can't wait to wear this pair in particular with skinny jeans or leggings and a cardigan on the weekend or with dress pants and a cardigan (I told you, I'm a cardigan girl!) to work. At $69.95, I will totally get my money's worth with these.





10) This shirt isn't quite sweatshirt, isn't quite t-shirt, and isn't quite sweater. What it is is awesome. On Piperlime, it's billed as a sweater, but, in person, it's like a super soft sweatshirt, made without the fleece inside. (So, like a thick t-shirt.) I love that it's not your average weekend piece--it's quilted, which sets it apart from the crowd. It also has striped cuffs and a striped hem, which give it a little pop! (And you know how I love my stripes!) I can see this being one of my favorite new fall pieces this year. At $69, it is a great wardrobe addition.

UNDER $25:

1) Full disclaimer. This company is 100% owned by the cousin of one of my closest friends. I've known this woman since she was a child and it's wonderful to see her launch and sustain such a wonderful accessory company (and you know how I love my accessories!). These bracelets are reminiscent of ones I would have worn as a kid. There are many style options; she is continually adding new styles and designs. This bracelet is totally able to be totally personalized--you can choose the color and style of cord and you can change the beads to say whatever you want. This style starts at $24. For other awesome options, or to order this piece, check out the Ryan Porter site!



2) Funny story...a few years ago, I purchased a pair of canvas sneakers from H&M for a post on this blog (see it here). I loved them so much that they became one of my go-to casual shoes. Last winter, my family rescued Olive, the cutest dog ever. A few weeks ago, she decided that my sneakers looked irresistible...and chewed them up. Yup, she eats shoes every so often. So, these shoes would be a great replacement for me...and at only $9.97, I can't pass them up! Neither should you.They were perfect fall weekend shoes--throw them on with a pair of jeans for running errands, playing in leaves, or hanging out with friends. Head over to Old Navy and snag a pair...if white isn't your color, they have plenty of other color choices as well.


3) As you all know, I love my accessories...scarves, bags, jewelry...all of it! Long necklaces are no exception to the rule. I think they make great layering pieces--with other jewelry, or with long cozy cardigans. This necklace from Francesca's Collections is perfect for that! Its turquoise color reminds me of the ocean in summer, so even as the days get colder, I can remember the summer and look forward to the next one! This piece will transition well throughout all the seasons. It's a steal at $16!




UNDER $50:

4) You know I love bags. You should see my collection. Never, though, did I think I would love a bucket bag...but I do. I started seeing this style of bag popping up on other fashion blogs that I love and read on a daily basis. Then I found this great one from Old Navy. I love the color--this green is such a great fall color. And if you're not into the green, it does come in other colors. At $34.95, it can easily fit into your fall budget and fall wardrobe!





5) The moto jacket is everywhere this fall! So many different stores are putting out their own version of this jacket, but I particularly love this steal from Target. Besides the fact that it's only $34.99, it's such a great take on this style of jacket. I can see myself wearing it to the office for day, and then out for drinks at night with the man. All I need to do is change up my accessories & shoes and this jacket easily transitions from day to evening!





6) I have been looking high and low for tan suede booties for the fall...they would look great with jeans! When I saw these from Target, I nearly squealed with excitement! They are totally what I was looking for--I love the edgy style of them, with the buckles and straps. They would be a great addition to my fall wardrobe, and at $49.99, they would be a great addition to yours as well! They come in three different colors, so everyone is sure to find a color that they love.





UNDER $75:

7) When the temperatures start dropping, all I want to do is layer my clothing. Just like Stacy said above, cardigans are the perfect transition piece for fall. This cardigan would be perfect as that last layer to keep you nice and warm at work or during your fun fall weekend activities, like apple or pumpkin picking. Pair it with a fun scarf, and you've got the perfect fall outfit! Plus, I love the soft merino wool...who doesn't love that? You can find it at the Loft for $69.50.





8) Leggings are here to stay, and these denim leggings from the Loft are perfect for any fall outing or casual day in the office. One of my favorite fall looks is a pair of leggings with an oversized sweater or blazer and a long button down. As Stacy said above, she loves to pair leggings with tall boots for a great fall look. I particularly love this wash, and this pair will carry well as a transition piece from fall to winter. They come in right under $75, with a price tag of $74.50, and will be a perfect addition to anyone's wardrobe.




9) I do love a shirtdress (in fact, this is the second top 10 in a row that I featured one! See the last top 10 here.) I find these to be so versatile...it's one of my favorites to wear from fall through spring. Shirtdresses go great with stockings or tights, heels or boots, blazers or cardigans...basically anything! This dress from the Gap is $59.95. I love that it's made of chambray--one of my favorite new materials! It's casual enough to wear for a date night or a girls' night out, but still sophisticated enough to wear to the office. It also comes in red, which is already on sale! Snag it while you can!



10) When I saw this shirt from the Loft, I instantly thought it would go great with the leggings I found, under the cardigan, with a long necklace, warm scarf, and tall boots, and I have a fantastic fall outfit for apple picking, hay rides, pumpkin picking, or leaf watching. When I shop, I like to visualize what I can wear it with. If I can picture it with more than one outfit, I know it's a contender for my closet. I don't like to buy things willy nilly--I'm mindful of how many wears I can get out of an item. (Unless it's a trendy piece...insert sequined skirt here...I totally looked at that and thought, "I need that in my life!" I know. I'm such a mystery.) I love that this top is perfect with a casual outfit (like mentioned above), or with a pair of slacks and ballet flats for work. It's a great fall piece, and at $54.50, it's a steal. I love the clean look of it, and knowing that I can wear it into winter as well--as long as I add a few more layers for those cold days.

Enjoy our fabulous finds! Happy fall!

Love,

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email us at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com