My Big Dilemma...

There is an issue I have been grappling with for months now. It has weighed on my mind day and night--and on any given minute in any given day, I will probably have a different answer to this ever present and impossible question.

I still remember the moment I decided that teaching might just be the best career path for me. I graduated from college with a history degree. Everyone asked me, "What are you going to do now? Teach?" My answer, every single time, was, "No f-ing (with the actual expletive used) way." I wanted to go into advertising--but ended up in public relations at a small firm in New York City (as I was told they were similar...they're like opposite ends of the same spectrum). I hated every minute of it. It was while I was there that I thought that I would want to teach...but I was only considering it because I missed having summers off. I decided that wasn't a good enough reason. So, I got another job. This time in executive recruiting. Hated it, too. In the beginning of September 2001, a few weeks prior to 9/11, I decided it was time for me to go back to grad school for teaching. I figured that even if I hated teaching, I would have an advanced degree and could find something I loved. 9/11 happened. I lost my job. It was perfect timing...I went to Columbia University Teachers College and got my masters in Social Studies Education. While there I learned that I not only loved teaching, I am pretty darn good at it (if I do say so myself...and I do!). I found what I loved...and the summers off were a bonus.

Fast forward 11 years...I am still teaching. For the past 9 years, I've been teaching 10th and 11th grade American History at a suburban New Jersey high school. For 11 years, I have loved going to work. I would look forward to the exciting information I would be teaching about each day. I bonded with my students, and I still keep in touch with a great many of them.

Then...something changed. I had my twins, and went back to school after maternity leave for just one month at the end of last school year. The morale in my building was different--the staff had been training all year for a new observation model--one that seemed very difficult to understand and even more difficult in which to find success. As well, as a result of Superstorm Sandy, my school was closed for two full weeks, meaning that we lost many, many vacation days. The staff had gone for several months with no break--leaving the students restless and the teachers exhausted. By the time I came back, everyone was burnt out and longing for summer vacation. Since I had missed most of the drama, I was happy to be back and I enjoyed my last month. I felt, "Ok! I can do this. I can be a working mom!" Did I miss my kids during the day? Yup. But, my job left me so busy that I didn't have time to think about missing them.

Cue September...

I came back to work this year realizing that it was going to be more difficult. First, my kids were older and they knew when mommy wasn't home. After a summer home with them, having fun and enjoying every minute with them, it killed me to leave them on that first day of September. Second, it wasn't just one month that I was back at work...it was ten straight months of being a working mom. Ten straight months of missing my babies, and wondering what milestones I'd be missing. Third, the new observation system, which I knew very little about, was being implemented, and I felt way behind the eight ball. But, I never saw myself as being cut out to be a stay at home mom. I felt like I would miss the adult interaction, I would feel like I was wasting my education and I would feel like I was trapped in the house with two very demanding little bosses with little "me" time. So, despite my reservations, I went back. I mustered up enthusiasm for the new school year and I jumped in, ready to hit the ground running.

It's now January and this school year has been, by far, the most difficult, most exhausting, most stressful, most demoralizing school year I've ever experienced. It's not even about being away from my kids. Yes, I miss them. Yes, every Monday I wish it were a snow day for just one more day home with them. But, it's way more than that. It's about the atmosphere in my industry. Teachers are under fire. We are the enemy--ask any politician, they'll tell you we are the reason our schools "don't measure up," or why our students are "falling behind." As a result, teachers are now subject to so many new rules, regulations and requirements that teaching has become our lowest priority--and the thing we have the least amount of time for. We keep being told that our new observation system is not a "gotcha," but, ask any one of us...it sure as hell feels like it is. Therefore, we are all always walking on eggshells--if we sit down at our desks for too long (or at all, ever), if we aren't constantly circling the classroom, if we aren't constantly monitoring for understanding, if we are missing "teachable moments", we are found to be "beginning" teachers and ineffective--even if our tried and true methods have consistently produced excellent results. The stress level in my profession has become so high that anyone you talk to will tell you that even though it's only January, we're done.

I used to go into school every day looking forward to teaching. This year, I feel like I am drowning in work. I feel like I haven't been able to really connect with my classes--which is something I've always been very good at--because, quite frankly, I don't have time. I miss that aspect of my career. I feel like I am going at 100mph every minute of every day. And that's just my paid job.

I come home and start my second job. From the minute I walk in the door, my little mama's boy cries if I walk out of the room, or even out of arm's reach of him. But, that's ok. Because each day, I only get a few short hours to play with my kids. Unfortunately, that coincides with their cranky hours. If I happen to have a meeting after school, I get one hour with my kids. One. I fear that I am missing their babyhood...their toddlerhood...their childhood. Am I leaving them in someone else's hands to raise them? Am I doing my kids a disservice by being a working mom or am I setting a good example by showing my kids a good work ethic? I just don't know.

My mom was a stay at home mom and I appreciate that she was there for every second of my childhood. I want to be a mom that is there for my kids. Can I do that and still keep my profession?

Every minute of every day, this is my dilemma. Do I resign from my position, leave my profession and become a stay at home mom, or do I stick it out for these few stressful years and continue on my path?

Honestly, I hadn't even considered it until a few family members decided to give me their 2 cents about my life and said that they all thought I should give up my job and be a stay at home mom. I simply told them, "I can't." and "Enough." I thought they were crazy...but since that point, I haven't stopped thinking about it. And, I still haven't come to a resolution.

The reality is that I fear that once my kids are in school themselves, I'll be bored. I'll be lonely. And, most of all, I'll be sorry that I didn't keep my job. Because, let's face it, Social Studies teachers are a dime a dozen. A lot of districts may not hire the more experienced teacher because we come with a higher salary requirement and are set in our ways. I have already learned that office work is not for me, and, honestly, there is no other profession that I would want to do. Just thinking about starting on a new career path stresses me out to no end. So, if I resign, that might be it for me in terms of working.

I also fear that I'll give up my job and I'll hate being a stay at home mom. Am I cut out to play peek-a-boo, watch Sesame Street, do art projects, make meals, change diapers, give naps, and schedule my showers, bathroom breaks and any "down time" or "me time" around my ever changing kids' schedules? Honestly, I am not so sure that I am.

Also, education is cyclical. This too shall pass...this new observation system, the new methods of "monitoring" and of "tracking progress" will go the way of the cassette tape and VHS, and at some point, likely in the not too distant future, teaching will be fun again. I just hope that I'm not too burnt out by that time to enjoy it.

But, these years when they're small...they go so fast. Am I sacrificing them for something that I don't know I want anymore? I certainly know that I'm not enjoying it right now.

Quite frankly, I'm exhausted. Emotionally, physically, mentally...just plain exhausted.

And so, this is my dilemma. To stay at home or not to stay at home?

What is the answer?

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email us at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com

Thanks, Hubs

I'm very lucky. My husband is super supportive of this blog. He reads every post--whether they appeal to his interests or not (and posts comments where and when he can), he offers to watch the kids so Lauren and I can get our posts done, he even makes suggestions for posts he'd like to see.

In that vein...today, while I was changing my son's soiled diaper, my husband suggested that we do a post about baby poop. Yup, you read that right. Baby poop. When Lauren and I told him that we didn't think that a post called "What's in My Diaper?" really had a place on this blog, he told us that we needed to "Look outside of the box and inside the diaper." Thanks for the laugh, hubs!

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email us at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com

Pinterest Experiment : Take 1

We are Pinterest junkies. But, we pin a lot of stuff and then...it gets lost out there in the land of "I would love to try this one day." We decided that we would challenge ourselves. Each month we are going to try to make one of the items we've pinned on Pinterest.

This month? Nautical Knot Bracelets.

Nautical Knot Bracelet on Pinterest (*click on the image to go to the Pinterest post)

We found the directions here and thought that this would be a manageable project--something we could do and something that we would wear. So, we went on Amazon and ordered all of the parts to make this project.

We gathered at Stacy's house on a snowy Sunday afternoon, put Stacy's husband on baby duty, laid out all of our materials and got started...

STEP 1:

Cut the cord to 22" long.

First cut...we forgot to put tape on the ends, so it started to unravel. We put tape on the ends and cut again. Easy enough. So far so good. We did that 4 times to make enough cord for two bracelets. (Two grey, two midnight blue)

STEP 2:

Fold cord in half and make a loop. 

Still easy enough! We are still feeling pretty good about now. (We had the pliers there just to hold the cord down for the picture.)

STEP 3:

Begin to make the knot.

Still easy enough. Just put one loop under the other. Now, make the knot...

STEP 4:

Make the knot

This is where the directions started to get dicey...they tried to explain how to make the knot, but then said it was easier to follow the pictures. Stacy couldn't do it. She thought she made a whole knot...but Lauren laughed at her. She made a half a knot. Lauren, on the other hand, was a champ. She made a whole knot....and then made a knot for Stacy.

Our knots (with directions in the background)

The completed knot

STEP 5:

Measure and cut

At this point, you take masking tape, mark off where you want the length to be and then cut. The masking tape is there to make sure that your cord doesn't unravel.

STEP 6:

Mix the epoxy

Mixing the epoxy? Check. Easy peasy pumpkin pie. At this point, we feel great. We are going to make lots of these...for friends, family members, ourselves...after all, they look like they're going to be super cute and it's been really, really simple so far (except for that knot thing...for Stacy...but who's counting?).

STEP 7:
This is where it all goes downhill...fast.

Put the epoxy on the cut ends

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Oh boy, were we in trouble now!! At first we thought we were rockstars. We had this epoxy thing down. Then...we got it on our hands. And read that it was an irritant and caustic. Oops. (Stacy rushes to sink to quickly wash hands.) So, we got out the latex gloves and continued on.

Then we tried to move onto the next step...placing the cord inside the ribbon clamp. Oy...just oy. The website warns that it will try to wriggle out. That's an understatement. The epoxy is supposed to help keep it in. We got one side in, but that was an ordeal. We had to cut the cord because it was starting to unravel, despite the epoxy. Then, after we got it in, we realized we had epoxy all over our gloves and had to throw out our first pair and put on a second pair. We also realized there was some epoxy on the bracelet. It would dry, right?  We then moved to side two...feeling like experts. Double oy. Then we realized our original epoxy had hardened and we had to make more. We did and then started to get the cord into the clamp...Stacy started to use the pliers to get the clamp down. Lauren kept warning her not to get her fingers, so Stacy gave Lauren the clamp. What did she do? Clamped her fingers. We got the clamp on and then realized...one of the pieces of cord had escaped. And the clamp was epoxied shut. Triple oy.

Then, Lauren realized the toothpick we were using to mix the epoxy and stuff the cord into the clamp was stuck to her finger.

We didn't need that toothpick, right?

It was at this point that we declared the project a PINTEREST FAIL.

Pinterest: 1; Stacy & Lauren: 0.

Pinterest Fail!!!

You may have won this round, Pinterest...but we'll be back!

Love,

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email us at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com

Book of the Month: January

For those of you who are new to the blog, Lauren and I are both avid readers. Whenever we find good books, we love to share them with each other. That being said, I'd love to share all of my great book finds with you...that is why we are reviving the Book of the Month on TAL.

While TAL was on its hiatus, I read a plethora of books...some good, some not so good and some absolutely, unbelievably great. It's those absolutely, unbelievably great that I want to share with you. However, since this post is "book" of the month, not "books" of the month, I'll have to just tease you by only sharing one at a time. (Ooooh...the suspense!)

The first one I want to share is 11/22/63, by Stephen King. It is titled thusly because it has to do with the Kennedy assassination. Since it has to do with the Kennedy assassination and I teach American history, this book had been recommended to me several times. Repeatedly, I was told that this book is amazing, however it took me a while to decide to read it...mostly because it's by Stephen King. I am not a big fan of horror books and, well, horror is kind of King's thing. After many months of being told to read the book, and being assured that it wasn't, in fact, a horror book, I finally decided to read it. I downloaded it to my Kindle and read it on a family road trip to Chattanooga in the summer of 2012. And I am VERY glad that I did. It started slowly for me, but once I got into it, I couldn't put it down. I was hooked. I am recommending this book first because not only did I love, love, love, love, love this book, my recommendation is timely--the 50th anniversary of the JFK assassination just passed in November.

Here's the basic premise (and I promise I won't give anything away!) a high school English teacher named Jake Epping is shown a wormhole, where he can travel back in time. He is tasked with stopping the assassination of JFK (thus, the book is titled 11/22/63). Along the way, he vows to change other injustices...and finds out that changing history is a lot more difficult than he ever expected. As he travels on the path to his assigned task, his life is fundamentally altered, and he has to decide between living the life that he finds in the wormhole or going back to a life that, quite frankly, doesn't much appeal to him anymore.

This book has everything...mystery, history, romance, intrigue, action and comedy. The book is long--880 pages--but, worth every page. I'll be honest--there are some moments where you think, "Ok, King...get to the point...why are we drawing this out?" And then he does get to the point...and you're left saying, "Ohhh...now I get it. Totally makes sense why you took a while to get here." But, even in those moments when you're wondering why he's drawing something out, you're still enjoying the read.

It's just incredibly well written and incredibly compelling, with a cast of characters that are all incredibly thought out, three-dimensional, interesting and essential to the story. If I had more time to read, I would, without a doubt, read it again. And, one day, I might. Now, as a history lover and an American History teacher, I was compelled to read 11/22/63, however, the Kennedy assassination is merely the undercurrent of the book. The majority of the book is not about the assassination, or even about Epping's task. It's more about the life that Jake Epping finds while traveling in time and what he has to gain and give up to accomplish what is best for the world--which may or may not be what is best for himself.

This is one of those books that sticks with you long after you've read the final word. This is one of those books that you will, undoubtedly, recommend to anyone and everyone you meet. Read it...I promise you'll enjoy it.

* If you click anywhere the post says 11/22/63, you will be taken to the Amazon page for the book.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email us at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com

Winter Skincare

Ladies, as we get older, taking care of our skin should be a top priority for everyone.  In the last couple of years, I've realized how important this is and I've started looking for the best creams/moisturizers/scrubs, etc. for my skin type.  It also means I've developed a skin routine that I stick to no matter how tired I am at night, or how much time I truly have during the morning.

I have normal to dry skin.  My normal skin becomes very dry in the winter.  This following post is about my skin and how I handle it; if your skin is different, do not follow this routine.

When the temps drop outside, my skin starts to feel like the Sahara Desert by the end of the day, no matter how much moisturizer I've used!  I've spent a lot of time combating this, and it feels like as I get older, my skin gets dryer.  It also means that during the winter I go through moisturizer like it's my job.

The first thing I do is try to drink plenty of water throughout the day. I'll admit, I'm not always great at this.  But I try really hard.

Recently, I read in a magazine article that some well known celebrity only washes her face at night.  For someone with normal to dry skin, it made a lot of sense to me.  So in the morning, when I shower, I just rinse my face with warm (not hot) water.  After my shower, I use 4 drops of the Josie Maran 100% Aragan Oil first, slathering it all over my face and neck, really massaging it in. It soaks in pretty fast usually 2-3 minutes.  Then I put on my go-to daily moisturizer, Aveeno Positively Radiant.  I do the combination of the oil and moisturizer twice a day, morning and night, which has helped my skin to no longer feel tight and dry skin by the end of the day.  After about 5 minutes, I then use my Sephora eye cream for under my eyes (dark circles and laugh lines).  I looked long and hard for an eye cream that soaks in quickly but is effective on those fine lines, and I was so happy when I received this Sephora eye cream as a tester in one of my many Sephora purchases.  This eye cream has really done wonders for me.  Now, during this time, I'm usually picking out my outfit, accessories, moisturizing the rest of my body (I use Aveeno body lotion), doing my hair, etc. it's definitely about making the best use of my time in the morning, so I take care of my skin and don't run late.  After everything has soaked in, that's when I put on my makeup (that is for another time, another post!!)

The Products I use Daily (Links below) *

At night, the first thing I do is take my makeup off.  To do that, I use Neutrogena Makeup removal wipes, which I find to be the best at getting off all my makeup, including mascara. Then once the makeup is off, I wash my face with a gentle daily scrub, Aveeno Positively Radiant Scrub.  Usually, about once a week, I use my Olay Pro-X Advanced Cleansing Brush, which helps to really exfoliate my skin.  I find for my skin type I only need to use it once a week. After my skin is nice and clean I go through the same steps as the morning for moisturizing.

The adding of the oil twice a day has helped tremendously in keeping my skin soft and dewy all day long.  I'm left with the softest skin and I love the healthy glow my skin has during the winter.

So that's it... That's how I make sure that even in the winter months and freezing temps, my skin looks radiant!  I hope this helps those out there looking for products that will work for your skin type.

Josie Maran

Aveeno Moisturizer

Sephora Eye Cream

Neutrogena Makeup Remover

Aveeno Daily Scrub

Olay Pro-X

*Neither TAL or I receive anything from these companies, I'm just sharing with all of our loyal and beautiful readers the products that I love and use.  

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email us at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com

The Top Ten for Men

After posting our Top 10 under $25, $50 and $75 about a week ago, Stacy's dad told us that "The post was good, but I just don't think there was anything there for me." Well, besides making us laugh, he gave us an idea...we should create a post of the top 10 items we'd love to see the men in our life wear...on a budget, of course! (See dad, we were listening!)


Interested in any of these finds? Click on the Polaroids below to be taken directly to the item.

UNDER $25:

1) Aviator sunglasses are the epitome of cool...and they never go out of style. This steal of a pair can be found at H&M for $9.95.

2) This graphic tee is great for hanging out on the weekend. Wear it on its own, over a long sleeve tee or under a cardigan. Find this one, and a variety of other styles, at Threadless.com for $20.









3) When relaxing on the weekend or after a long day of work, these fleece pants are sure to please. They are soft and cozy...and at only $9.99, how could you lose? Find them at Kohl's.










UNDER $50:

4) Cardigans are the perfect layering piece--they can be worn with jeans and a tee shirt for weekends, with a button down and jeans for a night out, and with dress pants and a button down for work. Cardigans always look fresh! Find this one at H&M for $39.95.








5) Corduroy pants are a timeless classic. Get them in a straight cut, like these, and they'll never go out of style. This pair is on sale for $49.99 at Banana Republic.









6) There is something so classic about an elbow patch sweater--it gives you that smart professorial vibe, but still manages to look modern and fresh. This sweater, at $30.56 from Asos, is no exception.

7) This is Stacy's dad's favorite brand of dress shirt--which, since this post is dedicated to him, is one of the reasons we included it. Another reason? A classic button down should be a staple in every man's wardrobe. Don't be afraid to try patterns, like stripes or checks, as well. This one comes with a bonus pop--a different pattern if you fold up the cuffs. Find it at Lord & Taylor for $29.99.






8) Again...this half-zip pullover is a wardrobe staple. It's great for work or weekend. Find this one at Banana Republic for $59.50.











UNDER $75:

9) Every man needs a good pair of jeans. Why do you think Levi's are classic? Well, they're well made and come in flattering cuts. Dark jeans are an excellent choice--they can be dressed up for a night out, or dressed down with a t-shirt. This pair of Levi's is $58, and can be found at Nordstrom.







10) Loafers are such a great shoe...comfortable, easy to get on and off, versatile, practical and timeless. We love this pair from Sperry. They come in many different colors and are an affordable add to your wardrobe. These shoes go from $54-$90 on Amazon, depending on what color you choose.







Now...go shop!

Love,

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email us at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com

The Little Things

We are bringing back our post series, "The Little Things." Some of my most favorite things are things that give me comfort, and some of my most favorite things in the world are things that bring me back to good times with good friends. Every one of these items has a backstory as to why it, and the people it represents, are special. Here are some of those items...

Kuna necklace

On my honeymoon, my husband and I went on a cruise around Italy & Croatia. On this cruise, we made 6 lifelong friends--two couples from Canada that we met because we were sat at the same table, and on an excursion to Dubrovnik, Croatia, we met two of our best friends--Kelli & James. On this excursion, Kelli, James & my husband climbed a wall around a city--I was hot. I stayed down below. Because of this, they took photos for one another at the top of the wall, and quickly became friends. I met Kelli & James when they all came back down. Kelli and I bonded on that trip over the terrible wine we had at a local Croatian winery, over our seafood lunch and, finally, over this necklace. This was our last stop in Croatia, and we had to spend the rest of our Croatian money (Kuna). Right beside the ship, there was a little marketplace. Kelli helped me find this necklace, as well as decide what color to get it in, and that was the start of a beautiful friendship. Luckily, Kelli & James only live about 2 hours from us. For that reason, we get to see them fairly frequently, and they are an incredibly important part of our lives. Every time I wear this necklace, I think about how fortunate I am that we all decided to take this cruise...and that I chose not to climb the wall, while Kelli & James did.

The most recent acquisitions to my magnet collection

In the summer of 1994, I got a job working at an arcade on the Jersey Shore. It was here that I met one of my best friends in the world--Summer. For many, many years, she and I were inseparable (I literally had a key to her house!). Then, we became adults and moved far away from one another. But, we still spoke every day. When I was in my early to mid twenties, I lived in New York City and Summer lived in Philadelphia. While I was living there, I started buying fun and funky magnets to grace my fridge. In the summer of 2004, Summer and I decided to take a vacation together--she took me on my first trip out of the United States. While there, I decided that we needed to buy magnet souvenirs to add to my growing fridge magnet collection. In that moment, a tradition was born. Since then, everywhere Summer and I go, we buy magnets for ourselves and for one another (we even have magnets from places we've lived!). Even my husband has gotten in on the fun--whenever he goes on a business trip, he brings me back a magnet. It is my intent to take these magnets and display them in a shadowbox, but as my life gets busier and busier, that project keeps getting put on hold. However, my favorite part of every vacation is finding a magnet that I know that not only represents the place I am, but will also be loved by both Summer and me.

This song makes me smile every single time I hear it

I met one of my best friends in a dressing room during a dance show in college. Gina & I bonded over the ridiculous silver pleather pants some of the girls had to wear. (Of course I had to comment about fashion!) I helped her put on her sparkly rainbow wig, and we became lifelong friends. During my senior year of college, we would often listen to the song "Candy" by Mandy Moore while driving around in my Jeep Wrangler. To this day, every time I hear that song, it instantly transports me back to college, and my good times with my dear friend Gina. She may live 5 hours away from me now, but that song always makes me feel like I'm with her, which is why whenever one of us hears that song, we will text or call each other, just to say, "Hey, I'm thinking of you," which makes me feel like we're not so far away from each other.

The best lip balm ever

In my early 20s, I lived in the city and loved to go shopping at a place called Ricky's. It has a variety of oddball stuff, but, I loved it because it had a wide variety of beauty products. (I have forever been in search of the perfect shampoo & conditioner...I have thick, wavy hair and haven't found the perfect product yet!) Whenever I see a new lip balm, I feel like I must try it. In the early 2000s, I stumbled upon Burt's Bees. At that point, it only came in the tin...which made me a little hesitant to try it because these tins can become super messy. But, one use and I was ultimately hooked! It seems to be the only thing that works well on my chapped lips. Since that point, you can always find me with more than one tube of Burt's Bees (since it came out in the tube, I have ditched the tin!). You can find one in my purse, one in my work bag, another one with my work keys, another one in my desk, another one in my coat, another one in my car...I'm never far from a tube of Burt's Bees. I have tried most of the different flavors that it comes in, but I'm still partial to the original...there's nothing like that tingle! Bonus? It reminds me of two of my best friends...1) It reminds me of Robyn. Robyn and I met when we were in college--we pledged the same sorority freshman year, we lived in a suite together sophomore year, and while we weren't super close, we remained pretty good friends throughout college. After college, Robyn and I were both single in the city, and started spending a lot of time together. We became incredibly close, and so, since Burt's Bees reminds me of my time in the city, which, inevitably reminds me of bar hopping and man hunting with Robyn, Burt's Bees always makes me think of Robyn. 2) It reminds me of skiing with Summer, because whenever we'd go, we'd always have a tube or two of Burt's Bees with us, to make sure that our lips didn't get too chapped on the slopes!

Mmm...Cheez-Its!

Lastly...Cheez-Its. I know...you're thinking Cheez-Its? What the heck? Well, about three years ago, Lauren and I went on our first road trip together. Since we both have dear friends in Boston, we decided that we would drive up there together. Lauren picked me up from work on a Friday afternoon, and was so excited that she had stopped and brought us snacks. One of those snacks was Cheez-Its...something we both love. We tore into those Cheez-Its pretty quickly, but sadly realized that she accidentally bought a disgusting flavor...not the originals. So, we stopped at a rest area to get replacement snacks, and I volunteered to throw the Cheez-Its out...accidentally spilling all of them right outside the garbage can (I figured the birds would be able to eat them). The two of us were so hysterical laughing...it was a great start to a fun road trip...one that we, unfortunately, had to cut short because snow was heading our way. However, we talked non-stop on the way up, and non-stop on the way back...even though we've been friends for 32 years, we still managed to find things we had never talked about before. Even though we are best friends, I somehow felt even closer to her after this trip. Sure, I could have found a billion different things that remind me of Lauren...things like my knitting supplies, the scarves she made me (including the fabulous one she just gave me this weekend), my jewelry, makeup, old photographs, even a headband with two springy spiders on top...any of those things. But, because of how much fun we had on this trip and how much closer we felt (as if we had even thought that was possible) after this trip, as well as our love for the salty, cheesy goodness that is Cheez-Its, I just feel this was the best possible way to honor my oldest friend, Lauren.

Thanks to all of you out there who make these "little things" so special to me! Hope this reminds each and every one of you to appreciate the little things in your life, as well!



Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email us at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com

Chopping it Off... Again

Looking back at the posts on TAL, I realize it was over three years ago that I chopped 11 inches of my hair to donate to Pantene Beautiful Lengths * (click on link).  Well, I did it again, this time 10 inches gone.  This is the third time I've donated my hair to Pantene.  This Organization makes wigs for women battling cancer and cannot afford to purchase a wig of their own.  It takes six ponytails of donated hair to make one wig, so every inch counts.

Before: My hair in October, 2013

After: New Cut and First and Only Selfie!

My chopped hair ready to be sent to Pantene

I've explained my reasons for doing this before, but it warrants saying it again.  My mother bravely fought against Stage 2 Breast Cancer when she was 36 years old.  I was 7 at the time.  I didn't fully comprehend how sick my mother was.  My mother showed such grace and strength during a time when  she was fighting for her life.  10 years after she was cancer free her doctor very bluntly told her, that she should not have survived her cancer.  I know how fortunate my family and I are to still have my crazy wonderful mother with us. 

I share this story with you to bring to light to the fact that I don't ever forget the struggle my mother experienced, and how all the time I've had with her since is not time I take for granted.  I donated my hair to honor my mom. I know that I am guilty of focusing on how my hair looks, and always wanting it to look great, but in chopping off 10 inches of my hair, I take a step back and realize that my hair doesn't define me.  

  

I hope that everyone will take a second to click on the above link and check out the organization. I know there are other organizations that make wigs for children. I think any donation of hair is a great thing, so if you are thinking about donating your hair, I would say pick whichever organization you want!!  

Love, 

*TAL and I are not receiving anything from this organization, but just really love the message that it sends to women and the Work they do.  

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email us at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com

Lessons Learned in My First Year as a Mom

Sometimes, I look back at the past year and it's a blur. Diapers, spit-up, sleepless nights... Other times I can't believe a year has gone by so fast and that my babies are already a year old--there were so many amazing moments in this past year. Becoming a mom has changed me in ways I've never imagined...and taught me so much about myself and about life.

LESSON 1: THINGS DON'T GO AS PLANNED
When my husband and I decided to start a family, I really believed that it would be easy. We figured that I would get pregnant in the month we wanted, then we would have the baby in the month we wanted, making for an ideal maternity leave. I was wrong--very wrong. Three years and a lot of heartache later, I finally found out I was pregnant...with twins. To say we were overjoyed would be putting it mildly. Of course, we started to make plans. Things like, "We don't need a bassinet in our room. The babies will sleep in their cribs from the day they come home from the hospital." (They didn't.) Or like, "I'm not going to let my kids watch any TV until they are at least 6 months old, preferably a year." (That lasted two months.) Or, "I know there's a higher occurrence of preemie births with twins, but I plan on going at 38 weeks." (They were 7 weeks early.) The most valuable lesson I can take away from this? THE BABY MAKES THE PLANS, NOT YOU, SO BE FLEXIBLE!

LESSON 2: DON'T JUDGE
Ok, I'll admit it. Before I had kids, I was one of those women who would judge the choices other people made with their kids. After all, I had loads of experience with kids--I come from a big family. My youngest aunt is only 9 1/2 years older than me, and she had five kids of her own--the oldest came when I was 17. I have a copious amount of dear friends who had children before I did. I've played the role of babysitter many, many times. So, of course, in my mind, that made me qualified to comment on people's parenting choices. In short, I was a naive ass. I quickly learned that while I did have some knowledge from my babysitting experiences, being a parent is an incredibly different thing than being someone's babysitter. I used to judge people who let their children sleep in bed with them. Until my children were 4 or 5 months old, I would repeatedly take them into bed with me, just so that we could all get a little sleep. I used to judge people who would put their kids on the phone when people called...until I realized that all my children want when I'm on the phone is to grab it from me and play with it. I used to judge people who, in the middle of a phone conversation with me, would stop and say something to their kid...now I'm guilty of that all the time. I used to judge other moms for lots of things...but, now that I'm a mom, all I can say is SOMETIMES, YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO SURVIVE, SO DON'T JUDGE IT UNTIL YOU'VE LIVED IT!

LESSON 3: YOU CAN DO IT...BUT YOU CAN'T DO IT ALL
You have no idea how many people ask me how I manage to have twins, have a career, write a blog, knit, read and have time for family and friends.  It's very simple...you deal with whatever life gives you. Plus, I never had a single baby. This is all I've known, so, to me, this is normal! But, I also learned a very valuable lesson in having children. When I was pregnant, I was adamant that I didn't want a baby nurse, nanny or other help when the babies came home from the hospital. I thought, "They're my children, it's my responsibility to get up with them during the night and to take care of them during the day--I don't need or want help." I quickly learned that I needed help. Thank goodness for my family--who all live nearby and pitched in a hand, and thank goodness for good childcare. (Also thank goodness for the fact that my kids are getting older and it's easier to watch them on my own now!) Don't be too hard on yourself--YOU MIGHT BE A SUPER MOM, BUT YOU'RE NOT SUPERWOMAN...AND THAT'S OKAY.

LESSON 4: IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN IT'S YOURS
Before I had kids, I used to watch my friends with kids and think, "I really want this?!" (With fear!) I especially thought that when I was pregnant, and that really scared me...because there was no turning back at that point. I had no idea how I was going to handle the fact that I would have no free time. I had no idea how I was going to handle sleepless nights. I had no idea how I was going to give up sleeping late on weekends. I had no idea how I was going to handle having to selflessly give up all of me to someone else (or two someones!). I especially had no idea how I was going to handle poop, (I would gag when my friends would change their kids' diapers around me or if I had to change my friends' kids poop.) or spit-up (vomit typically makes me want to vomit). The minute I got my babies home, I learned that when it's your kid, you don't mind giving up your free time--because they are your favorite hobby, pastime, activity and entertainment all in one. When it's your kid, poop, pee and spit-up don't bother you because, well, it's your kid. One of the most important things I've learned this past year? YOUR CHILDREN WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING ...AND YOU WON'T MIND.

LESSON 5: EMBRACE THE LITTLE THINGS
(And the little people!) I can remember the first night my husband and I spent alone with our twins...we slept downstairs on the couches with them in their bouncy seats front of us, because we were so nervous! My son didn't want to sleep unless he was sleeping on me. If I got 1 hour of sleep that night, I got a lot. It was one of my worst nights as a parent. It was also one of my best. I know...that doesn't make sense. But, I got to snuggle him all night. He slept on me--which he used to do all the time. Even as I was going through those sleepless nights and the constant holding of my kids, as exhausted as I was, I knew I'd miss those moments one day. I was right. My kids are in perpetual motion these days. I don't get many sleepy snuggles anymore and I don't get much time where they just sit on my lap and love me. (Plus, if one is on my lap, the other gets jealous and tries to crawl on top of me (and his/her sibling) too.) As much as I relish the fact that my children sleep through the night (don't hate me!) and I'm no longer a mom-bie, I really miss the constant snuggling of the first few months. REMEMBER TO APPRECIATE EVERY STAGE--THE GOOD, BAD AND UGLY--BECAUSE YOU WILL MISS IT!

LESSON 6: YOU'RE STILL YOU...ISH:
Before we had kids, my husband and I swore that we wouldn't become those parents who stopped doing the things we loved. He swore he'd still golf, I swore I'd still get my manicures and pedicures. We promised that we'd still see our friends and we'd still go out and do things. I can assure you, most of that didn't happen. I can't remember the last time he golfed (yes, I know it's winter!), I still get my manicures--but only because my manicurist makes house calls. However, most of the time I'm well overdue for a pedicure or waxing...and, while I probably could find the time, in my free time, I just want to be with my babies. I miss them all day at work, and when I get home, I just want to snuggle them and play with them. I can literally count how many times I've gone out with friends without my kids since they were born (the answer is six, in case you were wondering), and it's not for lack of desire, it's simply for lack of time (and, quite frankly, energy). However, even though I don't have the time that I used to or keep up with my activities like I used to, I don't feel like a different person. It's funny...I always thought that as soon as you had your baby, it was like a switch that flipped and all of a sudden you felt like a different person, like a "mom," however that was supposed to feel. But, after having my kids, I still felt like me...just me with a lot more responsibility. Those who love you will understand that YOU'RE STILL GOING TO BE YOU, JUST A DIFFERENT VERSION OF YOU.

This first year was so fun--even with all of its ups and downs. I wouldn't trade one moment of it. I can only anticipate what this next year will bring. Even through the challenges that lay ahead, I will work on remembering my six little lessons while I smother my two little munchkins with love.

Comments? Questions? Suggestions? Email us at theaccessorizedlife@gmail.com

Our Top Ten Picks for the New Year!

What better way to get back into blogging than to share our best finds for 2014? Since looking fabulous on a budget has always been important to us, we have scoured the internet to find our ten favorite picks under $25, $50 and $75.

If you click on the individual Polaroids next to the item descriptions, you will be brought right to the webpage for that product. We hope our picks have inspired you to add something fabulous to your wardrobe for 2014...heck, at these prices, you can afford to add a few new fabulous items to your wardrobe!

We hope you enjoy our picks as much as we do.

Happy shopping!

UNDER $25:

1) These skinny corduroys from Old Navy are just screaming my name. First off, I love that they come in a variety of bold colors. I always find a great way to beat the winter blues is to wear clothes with color. (In case you forgot about my love of brightly colored tights, you can check out these oldies but goodies here: How to Wear Tights and What I'm Obsessed With Now: Tights) I'm particularly fond of the dark teal color, but I wouldn't say no to any of these cords...especially at only $18, you can purchase every color and still not feel guilty!

2) Normally, these dangly earrings would SO not be my style. But, as of late, I have been getting into bold, fashionable earrings. Even still, I tend to shy away from the majorly huge. However, when browsing the Nordstrom site, these caught my attention and just didn't let go. Not only are they in style, but there's something about them that makes them an instant classic--maybe it's the gold "fringe" at the bottom, maybe it's the titanium color of the metal, maybe it's the scrollwork in the majority of the earring. Who knows. Whatever it is, they're fabulous. And I love them...which is good, because at $22, these are an easy, affordable addition to my ever growing jewelry collection.

3) This sweater from Macy's is one of my absolute favorites. Yes, it does grace my wardrobe. I own it in black and white (even though it does come in several other fabulous colors!). I love that it is long enough that it doesn't hit at that awkward length, I love that it is thick and warm, I love that the inside perfectly mirrors the pattern on the outside (black on white)--almost as if the sweater is reversible (it isn't), but mostly, I love the pattern. I bought it in the black and white because I felt that the pattern would go with just about anything, and you know how I love my bold colors...which makes it easy to pair this sweater with my bold finds! It's a wardrobe staple for me, and at $23.99, it can be a budget friendly wardrobe staple for you, too! 

UNDER $50:

4) When I first saw this necklace, I knew I had to have it. At that point, it was only available in the mint, but that was part of what made me love it. Mint is so trendy now, and I love that even though it's a pop of color, it's really a neutral, too. Mint goes with black, brown, grey, navy, white, blue, yellow, pink...I could go on and on (but I won't)! Then, BaubleBar came out with this necklace in a wide variety of colors. (In fact, Lauren owns the cobalt!) I not only love the color of this necklace, I love the style. It looks like several different beaded necklaces of varying sizes in one. It is my go-to necklace. At $36, you can add one of the many colors to your wardrobe, too!

5) I'll admit it. I'm late to the scarf game. I know that Lauren posted about her obsession of scarves (read that here: Lauren's Scarf Obsession) in November of 2010. To be honest, I've always admired those that could wear them, I just couldn't figure out how to add them to my outfits. Well, one day this fall, I pulled out my one (yes, one!) scarf and put it on. I was in love. I am now obsessed. When I saw this scarf at the Gap, I knew I had to had it (yup, I ordered it!). It not only looks warm and soft, but I also love the colorblock, the stripes and the pop of yellow. (It does come in other colors if yellow is not your thing!) As I've said many times before, nothing perks me up on a gloomy, blustery winter day than a bright splash of color in my outfit. This yellow does the trick...and at $29.95, it not only brightens my wardrobe, it brightens my day!

6) I am obsessed with stripes. If you saw my closet, you'd think that I shop at a prison warehouse. I  love rugby stripes. I especially love rugby stripes in navy blue and white (but, it does also come in olive). Therefore, I especially love this dress. I have something similar that I bought from J.Crew over the summer, but it certainly wasn't a steal like this Old Navy dress. It also doesn't have the little pop of color at the bottom. It can be worn for a casual day out with tall boots or flats, it can be worn to work, and it can be worn for date night. At $29.94, how can you pass up this amazing wardrobe staple?

7) There are so many things I love about these flats--the color (as I said, mint is in!), the hint of sparkle and the scalloped edging. These traits make these flats stand out from the crowd...and will make you stand out from the crowd as well. They're extremely versatile--wear them for a casual outing with friends when paired with leggings or skinny jeans and an oversized sweater, wear them for work with trouser pants or a pencil skirt, wear them for date night with a little dress, or wear them to a spring or summer wedding with a cute knee-length A-line dress. The best part? You can find them at Macy's for only $39.95. If mint isn't your thing, you can also find them in ivory or silver.

UNDER $75:

8) I have been looking for the perfect shirtdress for years. I love the style, but I haven't found one that I loved enough to purchase...until this one. Not only is the price right at $59.99, this beauty from Banana Republic is simply adorable. I love the navy with the bright pink piping--I love navy and bright pink together. (If navy and pink aren't your thing, it also comes in olive green with navy piping.) I love the fact that it hits above the knee--making it a year-round wardrobe addition--great with tights and boots in the winter, with ballet flats in the spring, sandals in the summer and booties in the fall. I also love that it's tailored--it doesn't look like you stole something out of your husband's, father's or brother's closet and threw it on. And, the icing on the cake? The adorable gold buttons. All in all, a great, budget friendly find.

9) I love a big bag. Especially now that I'm a mom and I often find baby snacks and other baby related things in my bag. I also like to carry everything in the world in my bag...I never like to be caught unprepared. But, my bag needs to be more than simply utilitarian--it needs to be beautiful & unique. This bag from Francesca's Collection most certainly fits the bill! I love the navy fabric with the gold chain edging. I love that the handles have gold thread wrapped around them. I love that it comes with an optional strap--which means I can carry it and my kids. I love that it's roomy on the interior, complete with several pockets. Mostly, though, I love that it's a budget friendly $54, but looks way more expensive than that!

10) Orange. Suede. Loafers. Need I say more? Oh wait, budget friendly orange suede loafers...now, do I need to say more? I saw these at the Gap and fell absolutely in love. So in love that I've ordered them to add to my extensive shoe collection. First off, a good loafer never goes out of style. Secondly, as I keep saying, a pop of bright color instantly lightens my mood. And, third, They're great for fall, winter or spring. Plus, they're orange. How fun is that? If orange isn't your thing, they do come in three other colors. At $59.95, it's not even a splurge to buy these fabulous shoes!

UNDER $25:

1) I think it's been said over and over on this blog that our love of BaubleBar knows no boundaries. This dainty bracelet is no exception. It is the perfect addition to your arm candy and for $22, you coud buy it in silver, gold and rose gold without going over budget on your monthly accessories purchases! (Am I the only one who budgets herself for accessories? Probably not, if you are reading this blog!) The bracelet has some sparkle to boot, and, of course, I would rock it in rose gold. Oh, how I love rose gold!

2) In the winter, I love wearing dresses with tights and tall boots. I find that this combination keeps me warmer than wearing pants in the bitter cold that has currently descended upon the northeast! This sweater dress from Target is a perfect addition to your winer wardrobe, and the color is neutral so you can add any colored tights, accessories or a scarf to help you stand out in the cold weather. It's on sale right now at Target, for $24.98, so go run out and get it...well, finish reading my list, then run out and get it!




UNDER $50:

3) I've seen a bunch of jeweled collared blouses this season, and it's one trend I'm really digging! This blouse would be great under a blazer, cardigan or sweater. Whenever I'm shopping, I strive to find pieces that would be appropriate for both work and play. This top would be great for both. It's currently on sale at the Limited for $34.99, which means you can get plenty of use out of it for not a lot of money. That's always a win in my fashion book!

4) It's been established on this blog many times that I love all things sparkly and all things versatile. Heck, just look at this Top 10 list! My list is teeming with items that can fit into those two categories. This sweatshirt is on sale right now for $30, at Old Navy, and would be great for work and weekends. You could pair this top with skinny pants or a pencil skirt. Really, it can go with any outfit that needs that pop of sparkle to get you through the day.

5) Over the last couple of years, Francesca's Collection has become one of my first stops when I'm looking for a new purse or accessory. I know it's a chain store, but I love the boutique feeling you get the minute you walk in the door. I have this crossbody bag in aquamarine--but, it does come in a variety of colors to suit a variety of tastes! This bag was a birthday present from a good friend, and I love it. Now, I love me a big tote bag. I've definitely showed that love here on TAL. However, recently, I've been breaking out a small crossbody bag on weekends. This practice has been saving my shoulders and increasing the bags I utilize during a month! It's a win, win. This crossbody is $34 at Francesca's, so if you need a new bag for play, go get it. You will be happy to add this to your own collection.

6) Ankle boots are all over the place this season and these will be a great addition to your closet without breaking your budget! I have a friend who owns these and according to her, these boots are not chunky and are great when worn with a tights and dress. (BTW, I totally trust her opinion on all things fashion and makeup!) So, don't let the snow on the ground bum you out. Run to Target, get these boots for $34.99, and then rock them all winter long!





7) I love sequins. I do. And, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I also love a pencil skirt. I find it flattering on my body type. Thankfully, this skirt combines both of these loves. I know I would get a lot of use out of this skirt. I'd wear it to work (I know...what?! Maybe not court, but definitely to the office!), out on a date, or on a night out with friends. Heck, I'd wear it around the house, it's just so pretty! I know i would get plenty of use out of it, especially at the great price of $39.99. You can find this amazing piece at 6pm.com.

8) Full disclosure, I own this blazer. I bought it a few months ago and now I rock this blazer for court, drinks with friends...pretty much anytime I can pull it out of my closet. The blazer's price of $34.99 was definitely one of the reasons I loved it in the store. Don't let the leather sleeves throw you off--this blazer is incredibly versatile. I'm a big fan of owning separates; I find I get more use out of the clothes in my closet by changing up different combinations of blazers/skirts/dresses. It also lets my creativity flow when getting dressed in the morning which, to be honest, definitely helps me get out of bed when it's freezing out! Hopefully this blazer will inspire you to make some fabulous outfits, too. Go out to Target and get yours!

UNDER $75:

9) Jeans are a go-to staple for my weekend uniform. These jeans will, no doubt, be a perfect addition to my closet! I know they will go great with a longer sweater or silk top for running around during the day and then switching gears to a night out by adding a favorite pair of heels. I'm also a fan of any jean that has some spandex in there. There, I said it! As a woman, I like pants that have a little spandex in them!!! These amazing jeans can be fond at Ann Taylor Loft for a budget friendly $69.50.

10) I know, I've already raved about the Naked Palate from Urban Decay. I own it and use it on a daily basis. But, my earlier love for the first palate only fuels the excitement I have over Urban Decay's newest palate! Once Urban Decay announced what colors would be in this palate, I am not going to lie, my first thought was, "I need it, I want it, I must own it!" The colors are so versatile and perfect for everyday use. I know...you're thinking, "$52 for eyeshadow?!," but, this palate from Sephora will last you a long time and will only enhance your daily makeup regimen.

Enjoy these fabulous budget friendly finds!

Love,